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Post by Opal Strole on Sept 28, 2015 22:47:30 GMT
"Days, turn into weeks, turn into months, turn into God know's how long since I felt your lips.." The violin would have sang along to Long Distance Love [Curse warning] as Opal reflected on her feelings, but she was resigning from the beautiful device for a while. She found it funny and depressing at the same time that only a month or so ago, she had been using the same instrument to celebrate a mass murder. The retired assassin was addicted to her music, so she could never drop the violin permanently, so she let her voice do the work this time. Opal was thinking about @damianwright, the man she hurt both physically and emotionally, and then fell for. She said she was going to forget him, leave him in the past, but... she couldn't. Everything about him beckoned her to him, but he was Cecelia's, and Cecelia was his. She had no right to intrude on their love any further than she had.
Snow blanketed the forest. Opal was human, but she didn't really mind the chill. She was rolled up in a fuzzy warm blanket, leaning up against the jail cover of her prison-slash former base. The whiteness of it reminded her of all the pureness around her and at the academy, and who she was striving to be. The calmness of the outdoors calmed her, and she loved the smell of the trees. Snow suddenly began drifting though the air, just then. Opal stretched her hand through the icy bars and watched with a smile and wide brown eyes as a particularly large flake pirouetted in the sky, then gracefully perched on her hand. The warmth of her hand, however, instantly began melting it, and Opal quickly blew on it until it drifted away, away from her, away from harm.
"Always thinking of ya... My long distance love.."
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Post by Deleted on Sept 29, 2015 6:33:28 GMT
He always seemed to be coming back here.
Damian didn't know why he was drawn back to this spot. Sometimes he needed to clear his head, sometimes it was that it was one of the few places he felt more at home, even if now it didn't hold the same security he was used to. He supposed he was always looking for some sort of answer. Some reason for all of it, anything that might give all this pain some sort of meaning.
The halfblood didn't really notice the snow. He was used to the cold. In his owl form he flew, wings gliding silently through the air and blending with the falling snow. From above he was nothing more than a shadow, but nobody else was flying in this weather, not with Opal around. Even if she was trapped, and the rumors claimed she was, they were wary. Damian was too. He had suffered a great deal by the hands of the assassin, but his curiosity had overwhelmed his yearn for safety. He needed to know why she had...
Soon enough the owl circled around the prison, what had been his and what was now hers. He didn't land for quite some time, debating whether it was worth it, facing her after all that had transpired. Opal didn't seem to be moving much, from what he could spot from above, just singing quietly to herself some song he couldn't make out. Eventually he squashed down his fear and glided down, shifting as he landed in front of her so she would recognize him. He wasn't dressed too heavily. A light vest, and a scarf, but that was all he needed to keep warm.
For a while Damian didn't say anything, he simply stood there, watching, waiting, either for her to move or speak, or for himself to gain the courage to ask the question burning on his mind. He was confused, yet hesitant- he was still conflicted on how to treat her. He'd seen two sides of Opal and he wanted to believe that Shadow...that...other person, that monster, was gone now, but he wasn't sure. He took a step forward, than two, than four, and sat cross legged about 3 feet in front of the entrance, out of reach, but close enough to look into her eyes. He inhaled, about to speak, but his voice died and he ended up giving a long sigh, before trying again, this time putting aside what he really wanted to ask, for now.
"Are you cold?"
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Post by Opal Strole on Sept 29, 2015 22:31:00 GMT
The world was a peace now. As the world soothed her, forced her to focus on the fact that she did the right thing in locking herself away, Opal let her mind wander. Her thoughts drifted to how things could have been, with a father who taught her how to protect, not eliminate, a unique species; where her mother didn't die from heartbreak; where Opal was a good woman, the woman that had, in reality, been buried by grief and the thirst for blood. And in her dreams, she let Damian in, and he had never met Cecelia and so it was okay for her to love him. And they would kiss under the starlight and be safe in the academy, where Opal would fight to the death to not kill him and his kind, but to ensure the safety of the good world.
Damian; he was there, in her dreams. A chill nipped her skin as they sat by the lake. His eyes were warm, and his wings tucked around her. He must have sensed her human chill, as he asked, "Are you cold?"
"Are you cold?" Opal sat up, awake at once. Her gaze flickered to where Damian, the real Damian, sat in the whiteness, in the purity, where he belonged. She stood, backed away from him, forgetting that she could have easily ducked away inside the base and pretended he wasn't there to yell at her. The blanket had fallen, exposing her gray sweater, dark jeans, and plain, flat, black boots. Opal hesitated.
"Why are you here?" Was all she could say around her numb lips, which seemed deaf to her mind and rather following her fearful heart. "You shouldn't- you can't be here."
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Post by Deleted on Sept 30, 2015 0:23:58 GMT
The thought occurred to Damian that perhaps he should have made sure Opal was awake before speaking and he felt a pang of regret when he realized he had disturbed her rest. Some bitter part of him insisted he shouldn't care and that she deserved it, but he pushed it away.
Second chances. Damian had always had believed in those. It was different from forgiving, which he would never be able to do, not all the way, but he could make sure she never went down that path again. He could keep her from ever hurting anyone else the same way.
His eyes weren't warm. They weren't loving, at least, not towards her. They weren't cold, but there was a sadness in them when he looked at her. His wings were folded neatly, out of sight and out of reach, a habit that showed itself whenever Damian was uneasy.
"The door was open...?" he answered nervously as Opal asked him why he was there. "I uh- like the snow? It's kinda my thing, y'know, with the ah- owl blood. Yeah." Why was it so hard to say the one thing he really wanted to? "Making sure you hadn't...frozen...or anything."
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Post by Opal Strole on Sept 30, 2015 0:31:15 GMT
Opal swallowed her pride, which boiled up to defend herself. That's the past. There's nothing wrong with him worrying. But she knew he felt unease. "You-" She wanted to say that he shouldn't have worried about her life anyway, that he had Cecelia and there was nothing else to say because he had no reason to care. Instead she started over. "Damian... We both know that's a lie," Opal said carefully, her unease causing her to lick her lips out of nervous habit. "How are.... How are... things?"
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Post by Deleted on Sept 30, 2015 0:46:33 GMT
Damian made a bit of an eek face and shrugged. "I guess I've never been a good liar anyway," he admitted, standing up as well, since if he sat down for too long his butt would get wet. Yeah, he liked snow, but he didn't need it going everywhere. He frowned at her last question, and silently bit his lip for a while before sighing.
"I...I don't know," he said, his voice somewhat resigned. "Still in recovery I guess...after..." He furrowed his eyebrows and stared at his shoes for a moment, kicking the snow half-heartedly. He bit his lip, words burning at the back of his mind again, pressing forward and bubbling to the surface until he couldn't stand the silence any longer.
"...what was that? The kiss, I mean."
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Post by Opal Strole on Sept 30, 2015 1:00:15 GMT
"I..." Opal was fearing that question and had no way to answer it. Her own eyes drifted to her shoes, and she gripped the cold bars that pressed against her back threateningly. The more her mind raced to answer the question, and the more she let herself, the more embarrassed she became. So she did something she had previously thought she was inept to do: Opal blushed. Her face felt warm from the tension, and fighting for her self-esteem, she looked back up at Damian, refusing to cry, and drew in a breath.
"I've always wanted what I couldn't have. First it was my father back, then it was to be in control of something, anything, and then it..." Opal paused, trying to think of a way to say it, even though she knew what it was she wanted to say. "And then it was you. Damian, I- You're the reason I'm here with screen made of chain between us; Because I looked into your eyes and I saw the goodness that I was tearing apart and realized it was wrong, that I was wrong. Because I saw what I was doing reflected in your eyes and I took a breath, a breath that saved hundreds of lives, and mine."
Opal closed her eyes. Honest was something she was just learning, and saying it made her throat swell with the frailty that it brought her. "Because I want you, Damian - I love you, Damian. But I can't have what I want"
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Post by Deleted on Oct 1, 2015 3:52:28 GMT
Damian was at a loss for words as he heard Opal speak. He didn't know how to handle any of it- he supposed he'd never really learned in the first place. He thought he could handle all his feelings, but something between he and Cecelia had shattered after the lies, and he didn't know if he'd be able to put it back together the same way. He loved Cecelia- he finally knew that, but she had trusted a stranger over him, and that had hurt him. She had believed too easily that he was just...using her for his own means.
And he...had avoided speaking to her since then. Damian needed distance, that was all. More space, for now, at least.
But this- this was something else. This he didn't even know how to react to. Hesitantly he stepped closer to the bars, resisting the urge to reach out and try to comfort Opal. No, he didn't have any feelings for her, but she was hurting, and it felt wrong to leave her that way, to not try and help.
After all...he'd caused that pain. Not directly, and he'd never meant to, but it still was his fault.
"No...I suppose you can't," he sighed. "At least- not in that way. I don't know how she feels about me anymore, but I still love Cecelia, and I always will. But that doesn't mean I won't be here for you." Damian put his hands on the bars, a show of trust, a sign he believed that Opal had changed, finally, for the better. "Not as a lover, no. But as a friend. And for now...is that good enough?"
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Post by Opal Strole on Oct 1, 2015 4:36:02 GMT
Opal smiled halfheartedly, beads of tears on the corners of her eyes betraying her true feelings. She whipped them away hurriedly, determined to make appear that she was over it all, which was selfish and didn't work very well anyway. "You don't have to do that, Damian," Opal assured him, her heart wrenching just at the sight of his comforting demeanor. "I've hurt you so much. You and Cece belong together, and I can't let anything cause me to wedge you appart, not ever again. I know you don't have feelings for me. I've always known that. It's okay."
Opal was silent for a few moments, tempted by his offer but knowing it was something she had to refuse. "Friendship is more than I ever could have hoped for but... Why? I... I am... I was.... I don't even know who I am anymore..." That was it. Never in her life had she shed so many tears, not even when her father died, which had shaped her as a person in every way. So here Opal was, collapsing against the bars on the opposite side of the only man she had ever truly loved with all her heart, crying like a fool, because there was no other way.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 1, 2015 7:02:07 GMT
"I do. I do need to do this, because in some sick kind of way, it's my fault," Damian sighed again. "If Cece believed you so easily in the first place...than I must have been doing something wrong, right?" He laughed bitterly. "I doubt being here will make things any worse. I don't care about you in that way, so what's the harm? What else can happen?"
What else could Opal possibly take away from him now? She was behind bars, just as much a mess as he was on the inside, if not even more so. Damian was like a light snowfall, delicate yet numb, and she was still a raging storm, her emotions unpredictable and uncontrollable, like the lightning that struck where ever it saw fit. They were opposites in so many ways, yet their paths hadn't stopped crossing since they'd met.
It was sad, actually. If she hadn't let the darkness take over when they'd first met, they could have been more. Friends- true friends. But now they would never know.
"I couldn't tell you who you are if I tried," Damian said, feeling a pang since he didn't know how to help even if he wanted to. "But I think that this...this is your chance to find out. Make a new you. You can decide whether you want me around or you want me to go away. Sometimes People need distance to figure stuff out. If you don't want me around, I get it. Bad memories, they can get in the way."
"Just tell me what I can do to help."
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Post by Opal Strole on Oct 1, 2015 22:29:56 GMT
Sniffling, Opal calmed her breathing under brief meditation. She sat there, her eyes closed for a minute or so, just listening to the trees, and listening to Damian, and listening to her heart. Opal had all the time in the world to take thinking, and though she kind of felt bad my hesitating over a long course of time, she let herself consider his question. "Don't forgive me," Opal stated after some time. It was a lie - she wanted him to forgive her with every ounce of her being - and if Damian looked closely, he might see that in her eyes. "Be with Cecelia no matter what. Be completely honest with each other about everything, and never let anger get the better of you. You saw where that took me." Opal smiled halfheartedly, her eyes rested again on Damian, and mixed in with her passion and and the truth was her reassurance. reassurance that she was where she belonged, and no guilt was necessary.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2015 3:12:18 GMT
Damian's breath hitched in his throat when she told him not to forgive her. His stomach lurched, his heart twisted, because he knew she didn't mean that. He just knew. Or maybe she had? He didn't know, but either way it hurt because even if she wanted him to forgive her, he wouldn't. He couldn't. He'd never be able to forget what she'd done, and never forgive her for causing him, Cecelia, and so many others so much pain.
"I won't," he said, bitterly, like it was something he hated saying, and he did. He hated the words coming out of his mouth but he had to say them anyway. "I will never forgive you for what you've done, Opal. I just...can't. I can't put behind what you've done, and I don't think I'll ever be able to. And for that...well...I'm sorry." Damian meant that. He was sorry to hurt her in that way, but what she had done was unforgivable. He couldn't look at her as he said that, he didn't want to see if his words could break Opal's the way hers had broken him.
"I'm not...angry...at Cece," he sighed. "Just....look- I'm just giving her space, that's all." That was half a lie. What he was doing was running away from it, or trying to, just trying to run away from the whole thing. He'd come back sometime but...a little distance wouldn't hurt, right? "We'll talk...just not right now."
Maybe not ever. It was a bitter thought that crossed his mind, out of it's own free will, but it stung and Damian bit his lip to avoid saying anything or letting anything else slip.
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Post by Opal Strole on Oct 4, 2015 3:31:56 GMT
His words stung, no matter how much she had been preparing for them. "Good," Opal said around her teeth in the same hurt bitterness. "Because you hate me, so you never want to see me again, never want to think about me again. You love Cece, and you always will. You're going to tell everyone at the Academy my real name and all the terrible things I've done in detail without including why for your own humility, so that everyone will hate me equally and more. And you think this will make me hate you, so you'll feel at ease." She couldn't hold back the tears anymore. She paced to the other side of the jail, right in front of Damian, her fingers curling around the bars and her head resting on them as well. Her last sentences were said so quiet an with so much pain enveloping them that she thought she would melt. "But you would be wrong. Because nothing you could say or do could make me stop loving you. I love you , and so you're going to be with Cece, because she's the only one good enough for you."
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2015 4:00:11 GMT
"I never said I hated you."
After a bit of pained silence Damian had spoken up again, frowning at how somehow Opal had turned lack of forgiveness into hate. "I don't hate you." It was so hard to put how he felt into words, it was never easy for him. He exhaled, shoulders slumping, and he leaned forward slightly, his head resting against one of the bars in a defeated way.
"I don't hate you," he said again. "I'm not going to forgive you, I never will, but I don't hate you. I hate who you were, who you used to be, but I think that you're...I think you've changed. I think you still are changing. And you're changing for the better. You're becoming somebody else. And whoever that ends up being...I'm willing to give them another chance." His wings even sagged a bit, feathers brushing up against the snow.
"I won't forgive you, but I'll give you another chance. And...I think that...you should give yourself another chance too."
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Post by Opal Strole on Oct 4, 2015 4:12:08 GMT
The frustration about her own feelings overwhelmed Opal and she slammed a pale hand into the prison bars to relieve the pressure on her chest. "But you have to hate me!" She said loudly, more like a child than a grown woman. "If you don't hate me, how can I bare to be around you without this heartache, without wanting you like the thirst for blood that still stains my clothes!?" Her tears slid down her cheeks so consistently she wasn't sure if she was going to dehydrate or pass out first. "You have to..."
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2015 4:39:14 GMT
Damian was startled by the sudden movement from the other, jumping away from the bars and slipping in the snow, landing neatly on his butt. One of his wings angled itself protectively in front of him, to protect him from any incoming attack that Opal might have sent his way. After a few moments passed and nothing had happened, Damian lowered it hesitantly, somewhat embarrassed that it had happened in the first place. Here he was, insisting he believed Opal had changed and yet he was still acting...afraid. Even now. In the back of his mind he could easily hear her taunting how pathetic that was.
He didn't stand up again, just stared at the ground, not looking up after the shameful display of lingering fear he couldn't help feeling when she lashed out like that. He winced as she shouted, as if her words burned him. "I can't," he said, quietly. "I can't hate you. Not when you're like this. I don't know how to change the way you feel. I'm sorry."
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Post by Opal Strole on Oct 4, 2015 4:46:40 GMT
Opal shook her head, her head throbbing. Lowering herself to the ground again, she turned her back to Damian and rested against the bars, sorry she had frightened Damian. "I.. I don't know why I feel like this..." she said quietly, confused to her wit's end. "I've never felt.. like this, whatever it is that people call love. I-" Her words broke off, as she had no idea what to say anymore. So she sat there, silent once more, trying to think. "I need help."
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